Out Of Your Control Eh?

Alright, Amy Lynn Campbell, I'm only writing this because you asked me to and I love you just that much. So lately, something has been on my mind. Also, to start off, if this post begins to offend you... Feel free to quit reading. This is all my opinion on situations and as a loud opinionated person I tend to share it as I please. Don't take offense when it's your choice to keep reading mmk my dears? :)

Going right along hand in hand with that last sentence.... I struggle to feel bad for people sometimes. Now, don't go taking that the wrong way. I have a heart or at least would like to think so but when it comes to certain situations I really struggle to justify feeling bad for you. Too often, we as people get into this mindset towards our problems that there is nothing we can do about it. Sometimes, there really is nothing we can do about the problem but only how we react to it. But, all too often, we are actually creating the problem and then turning around and saying we cannot do anything about it. It's times like these when I stop attempting to comfort you in these "problems" but try more to help you see what the problem actually is. It is usually at about this moment in time when people start getting upset with me for being "uncaring" and "non-comforting".

We call that reality and sometimes someone has to be the voice of it for it to ever get it's recognition. We all have that person who is the voice of reality to us. The one we avoid because we know they're right 99% of the time. The one we always seem to turn to when crap hits the fan. You know who they are. You love them and hate them all at the same time. I'm just attempting to put the facts into perspective and if you can't handle that then please don't turn to me for comfort with something you're causing! Plain and simple! Do something about your bad mood and change it!

Alright, I know that all that is easier said than done. I also know that nobody is perfect ESPECIALLY myself! But that doesn't mean that we can't get better. Every person ALWAYS has room for improvement. There literally is always more that we can be doing. Life can seem and most definitely is a daunting task BUT God would not have trusted us with it if He did not think we were up for the challenge. We were never told that life would be easy but only that it would be worth it. And through God's help he can make us strong enough for the task if we will simply turn to him.

 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." (Ether 12:27)


We are never alone. God sees us at all times even when we are choosing not to follow Him. He never will forsake us but rather we do that on our own. He has given up everything for us and suffered everything we ever have or will and more! Turn to him always and you will find your solace. If you aren't willing to do that then do you truly desire to be happy? Are you really willing to do anything it takes to have that blessing of happiness in your life? Just something to think about. I really do love you all and you can indeed turn to me whenever you need help! But just know... If you ask me what you should do, I will be honest in my answers and opinions. If you don't like them... Simply disregard them! I will not be offended! Just don't ask again since you at that point, already have the answers! :D

He Died For Me!

This past week I had a really interesting lesson in my Book of Mormon class. We were in 2 Nephi 2 and talking about the four parts of agency and how they are exhibited in the fall of Adam and Eve. We made a table with three different categories. The first being titled Spiritual the second Spiritual/Physical with the last one being Physical. We talked about the differences between all of them. We don't know a ton on our spiritual existence and about premortal life. We listed as much as we could though and moved onto the spiritual/physical category. My teacher referred to this one as "The Garden of Eden." He talked about how the Garden of Eden is full imagery and figurative speaking. He pointed out how Adam and Eve were immortal and could not die up until the moment that they partook of the fruit. He referenced a talk of a general authority talking about how Adam and Eve's immortality came from the fact that they did not have blood in their bodies. They had physical bodies but were full of the spirit instead, creating that spiritual/physical state. He then talked about the importance of blood. Think about it, blood is everything. It is the thing that makes us mortal. It is the thing most necessary for the human body to function and yet, is the thing which makes it possible to die. This was super interesting to think about. And to think about how perfectly our bodies function with the assistance of blood and all that goes on inside us without us even trying. Blood completely makes us alive and we don't even have to control it! Then we went in on a deeper level and I started to think about the atonement. Is it any wonder that it was Christ's blood that came from every pore? What other symbol could convey so much importance besides his blood. Christ was losing the one thing that allowed him to live so that we could live and return to Heavenly Father through the remission of our sins that was now possible through Christ's actions. His blood was not just precious because he was the chosen son of God, the Redeemer and Savior of our souls. I loved this discovery and went back to ponder it many times. I was amazed at how much more personal the atonement became to me just through that simple eye opener. Then sitting in one of my classes we had our usual song and prayer to start our class. The song that had been chosen to sing was hymn 194, There Is a Green Hill Far Away. I've sang this hymn many times but never before has the fourth verse stood out to me like it did that day. It reads, "Oh, dearly, dearly has he loved! And we must love him too, And trust in his redeeming blood, And try his works to do." I loved how it referred to his blood and called it redeeming. Blood was such an important factor and they realized it and brought it to our attention. And then to first show Christ's example of loving everyone and talking about how we must love him. Then to show his sacrifice that he made for us and to tell us that we must try to do what he would have us do. I love how this verse really implies that if we love him than we will do the best we can to not only spread the love he has for us but to do all he asks of us. It was a great week full of insight! I was so grateful for it and how because of it the atonement has reached a new level of personalness for me!

Then in Sacrament meeting today we heard a talk on Elder Hales talk, Coming to Ourselves: The Sacrament, the Temple and Sacrifice in Service. I loved how it talked about the prodigal son and that there will never be at any moment, a time when Heavenly Father and Christ will turn you away. No matter what you have done there is hope! No sin is permanent! Through Christ all things can be made whole! He heals all that come unto him and through him is the only way you can receive the blessings of heaven. Like Heleman 5:9 states, "O remember, remember, my sons, the words which king Benjamin spake unto his people; yea, remember that there is no other way nor means whereby man can be saved, only through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ, who shall come; yea, remember that he cometh to redeem the world." Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for us. All of us individually! Don't take that for granted! Not using the blessing of the atonement is like mocking Christ and completely disregarding the pain he willingly went through so that you wouldn't have to suffer! Come unto Christ! Allow him to heal your hearts and remember that there is never a point of no return!!! To repent means to turn towards God and that's exactly what happens when you repent. And the moment you take that first step on the journey back to him, like the father of the prodigal son, he will run to you while you are still afar off and welcome you back with open arms! He loves all of us! Don't every forget it! :)

                                      

Don't deny yourself the peace of God! You deserve it! And he wants so badly for you to have it! So return to him and give up your burden unto him. He will carry it for you if you will but allow him to and live his will.

Something More

So this past week has been very interesting! It's only the third week of this semester and we've already had a lot go down! First off Amos (Amy) and I got a new roommate. She was a real sweetie but she definitely had us worried with the amount of time she DIDN'T spend at home. Then last week she tells us she's getting kicked out of school because her fiance and her didn't follow the honor code. Then the next day she tells us she's getting married in the courthouse two days later. It was just like one thing after another the whole week. So Tuesday, the day of the wedding, rolls around and we're doing all we can to help her get ready for her "wedding". She shows us her dress just beaming about it. I look at it and the first thing I see is it's lack of sleeves. This is not at all what I had in mind when I think wedding dress. My idea was something more like this:

So that was a little surprising to me. Then I ask her how she's feeling and her response? Nervous, excited, scared, stressed, worried and anxious. These are also not the exact emotions I imagined someone to feel on their wedding day. I mean getting married is sort of a life altering decision. If you're feeling any doubts about it you probably should rethink your decision right? Even talking to my dad who said he was scared out of his mind on his wedding day, felt a different fear. He knew he was making the right decision but getting married is a brand new thing and walking into the daunting unknown is a scary situation. I just feel like you would feel more peace about the whole thing if it were the right thing to do and you kept God involved in your decision. Finally we finish helping her and head to the courthouse. I just couldn't get over the lack of beauty in comparison to the temple that was just six blocks up the street. To think of giving up such beauty because you lost sight of what you really wanted? That just makes me so sad.

VS

I just don't see how you could even question where you actually want to get married? It confuses me. So finally after a half hour wait we go into the courtroom to begin the ceremony. The chairs are a dull green. There are benches at the front with a podium for questioning. To think of all the fights and disputes that were settled in the very same room that they were going to get married in and try to start a new life from? That blew my mind. All I could think about is how weird this whole thing felt. This is not at all what I would ever wish upon anyone on their wedding day. As the judge started the vows I couldn't help but think about the fact that he had just repeated the exact same words for the couple before them. It was not unique or different. Not special or anything. It made me so sad. As he continued to READ the vows from a piece of paper he got to the part that says "Til death do you part". Til death? That is just another sad thought to think about. What if either of them were to die the very next day?? To only spend ONE day with the person you are in love with? Eternity promises that no matter when you die you can be with that one special person forever!! It was just quite sad. The entire thing. After we got home and our roommate and her new husband left I just sat and pondered about the events that had gone down. I can't help but be so grateful for the way I was brought up. The things that I was taught. I'm so grateful and happy to know that there's more! There's more to love and marriage than a "promise" that everyone repeats and has repeated before you. More than a sleeveless off white dress. More than a couple pictures taken on an iphone to "document" your wedding day. There is more. And I'm so grateful! Never settle for less than a temple sealing! For time and all eternity. That's where true happiness lies. :)

He Is Aware

This past two weeks has been crazy! Starting with last Monday... It started out as such a great day and the more the day went on the more discouraged I was beginning to feel. Discouraged about my major and about just life in general. I called my dad up to try and just shake this gut wrenching feeling that kept getting stronger. As usual... He brought me to tears... In a good way I suppose! The week went on and I just did my best to keep my head above the emotions I was feeling. My mom came up and took me grocery shopping and helped me clean the dorm. Now we may not get along all the time but I sure appreciate what she does and has done for me. Anyway, after three days of just discouragement and sadness Thursday came which meant, it was time for another organ lesson with Brother Kerr. I was not looking forward to this organ lesson. Not because I was ill prepared but because I did not believe in myself. I tried to act like nothing was bothering me and honestly, I don't think Brother Kerr even noticed anything. It was at the end of the lesson as he began to tell me what a great job I was doing that I started to relax and believe in myself a little more. We talked for a good fifteen minutes about the struggle I was having with believing I could do something this hard. He told me he believed in me and that he believed I had what it takes. It was a very encouraging moment and completely changed my outlook on the situation. As the week went on one thing after another kept coming up and causing me to be upset or sad. It wasn't until just today as I was looking back on it that in those moments when I was the lowest I've felt in quite a while... God still was aware of me. He knows me and my struggles. He loves me and even when I'm naive enough to think He's not there, He never leaves. He carries me when I'm too weak to carry on. He gives me opportunities to grow and knows that I'm not perfect. He accepts who I am and died for me. People too often say that God does not answer your prayers or that he isn't giving you what you need. This is not true in the slightest. God hears and answers every prayer even if it is not in the way that you want it to be answered. What God gives to you is what you need. That being said I just want to point out that it says what you NEED.... Not what you WANT. One of my favorite poems is by Eliza M. Hicock. It goes like this....

Prayer

I know not by what methods rare,

But this I know, God answers prayers.

I know that He has given His Word,

Which tells me prayer is always heard,

And will be answered, soon or late,

And so I pray and calmly wait.

I know not if the blessing sought

Will come in just the way I thought;

But leave my prayers with Him alone,

Whose will is wiser than my own,

Assured that He will grant my quest,

Or send some answer far more blest.

This poem has kept me going through a lot of hard times. He sees us and knows what we need. He will get us through if you trust him and take time to see the tender mercies he performs in your life. In a recent letter from a very dear friend whom I had confided in about feeling so alone sometimes wrote back and told me to look up 1 Nephi 21: 14-16. The last verse just hit me, it says, "16. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me." It just hit me... Christ has scars in his palms... For me. He did it all for me. He would never forget me. I just look back on this week and know he heard my prayers and was watching over me. So just know that no matter what you're going through, God is seeing you through it. He is placing people in your path to help you learn and grow. To show his love for you through them. Everything will be OK. Keep telling yourself that and make sure you never forget. God will not forsake you. The only person that can forsake us is ourselves. I've always heard that tough times never last only tough people do. Someone that I met and quickly learned to love had a very catchy phrase that I was told on a daily basis. Whenever things got rocky no matter how big or small she just said... It'll all buff out. To this day I continue to say it because I know she's right. No matter what happens it's for the best and it's what needs to happen. Come what may and love it :) He will always be at your side through thick and thin. I know this because... Well simply because I believe in Christ.

I cannot begin to describe the power this song holds. Just listen. True testimony is in these words.





We are who we are

This picture has really been on my mind lately. I saw it on facebook and of course "liked" it. (I'm so addicted to the little blue thumbs up sign!) But as I was laying down for a quick nap before class I just started reflecting on it and decided this is a subject I'm passionate about. Which is what has led me to writing this blog post instead of taking a much needed power nap. This should say something about how important I think this is because... I really love my sleep. Anybody that knows me will know this. But then, is it possible to really know someone if you've never taken the time to know their past? Everyone has a story. Everyone. It's what has shaped them into being who they are. It's what drives their passions and encourages their fears. Those "skeletons in the closet" create human beings, people, with feelings and emotions. Nobody is perfect. Christ taught us that and he was the one person who walked this earth who was closest to perfection. I feel that people are so hard on each other. But what I wonder is why? Why would we want to make others feel like they aren't enough? That they're inferior? That they're a failure? Have we not all been there? Everyone has something they regret. Decisions they've made that they wish they could take back. Bridges they've burned that can never be rebuilt. Hearts they've broken that they would give anything to mend. We make mistakes. To err is human. We all need to accept that and accept each other. We all struggle from day to day and yet we try to tear each other down for these struggles. It doesn't make sense to me. Why would you tear others down when you know how it feels to hurt that bad? To feel like you're as low as you can possibly get? Just think about those closest to you or those you care about most. Have you ever asked them what they've been through? What made them who they are today? I think you'd be surprised at the answers you get and yet... It wouldn't change your love for that person. What changes when that person becomes a classmate or a coworker? You really have no idea who they are until you know they're story. In all honesty, they're complete strangers to you. It seems like multitudes of people want world peace but nobody wants to look inside themselves and make the change to obtain it. I feel like everybody, no matter where you're at in life, can work on just connecting with people. Take the time to listen to people and let them know they're important. Let them know that everything will be ok. Be there to support them and give them a shoulder to cry on. Take down those walls that hold back your past. You never know who is going through or has gone through something similar to you. Don't judge people for what you think you know about them. Help them to be in a better place than they were, spiritually, mentally and even physically. We all have imperfections and weaknesses. Just like in Ether 12:27 where it says, "I give unto men weakness that they may be humble." It doesn't say so that God gives men weakness to shun and degrade others. We're all God's children and no matter what we do, God still loves us. Just remember that the next time you're in class or at work or just anywhere for that matter. Reach out to people. Let them know that you're there for them. Take the time today to build someone up and support them because everyone matters. We're all God's children. He knows us all individually. He knows everything that we've done. Who we are. Who we can become. And he loves us all the same.

Lean on me, when you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

-Bill Withers

The things I learn at college!

I had a very interesting experience yesterday. I was walking to my organ lesson and it's only my second one ever with this teacher. So I'm still a little nervous around him but it's getting better. I get to the Snow building and we start our organ lesson. We start with a little small talk, you know, the usual "we still don't know each other but let's be cordial anyways" awkward conversations. The lesson continues and about halfway through he asks me, "Do you know what Kyrie means?" I look at him and about a thousand thoughts cross my mind. How am I supposed to answer?? I had no idea what it meant! I didn't even know how to pronounce the word until he said it for me! Should I take a guess at what it could mean based on how the piece sounded? No I couldn't do that. There's too many ways that a piece could be interpreted! The chances that I guessed right were too slim and I'd feel so very dumb after that. Should I simply say no and try to spout off facts to still show I had a slight knowledge about something?? That wasn't going to work either. I always hate that when people do it to me so I'm guessing it'd be the same situation for him. So it was settled. I was going to tell him the plain, simple and honest truth. "I don't know", I replied. "Well good!" He exclaimed. "I didn't expect you to!" I was flooded with relief! He then explained that it means Lord have mercy. The lesson went on and he paused looking at me, "Do you know what two voices are the hardest to put together when practicing?" Man! This guy was on a roll! I may not be the brightest crayon in the box but I'm definitely not the dullest! Again I contemplated what my possible reply could be wondering if I dare take another chance and admit I didn't know. I thought for a moment and again I decided on the plain, simple and honest truth. "I have no idea." He looked at me with a smile and asked, "Well what's hardest for you?" "Well the tenor and alto in this piece but I'm guessing that's not the two." He laughed, "Well you got one of them. Usually it's the tenor and bass but obviously that was an unfair question of me to ask seeing as everyone is different." I was amazed. I had just admitted that I didn't know something not once but twice to someone that I was trying to make a good impression on. As my lesson ended and I walked back to my dorm I reflected on what had just happened. And all of a sudden it just hit me! It's OK to not know everything! It's OK to not understand something, to ask questions and to let somebody teach you something they know! The world has just put this expectation on us that we shouldn't do this! That accepting someone else knows more makes you look weak. That making a good impression means showing off your abilities or knowledge. This is not true in the slightest! And my organ teacher had just shown me this important lesson without even trying to! Boy was I grateful he did though. Not only is it a super important lesson to be learned but it made things tons more comfortable. It was a great feeling to know that I could be wrong and not know something and that it was ok! The whole reason we were put on this earth was to learn and grow. So duh! Of course we're not supposed to know everything. But somehow I had lost sight of that minor detail and it has caused way to much self criticism. Looking back I think about all the times I've let someone make me feel bad because I thought I wasn't as good as them just because I didn't know as much as them. It's so ridiculous to me. Why did I let them make me feel inferior? Why did I not just ask them more questions so that I could learn more? Then of course, as if by cue, I could hear the words my mother would be saying to me, in my head. "Nobody can make you feel inferior Brianna. Only you can." Or my favorite which seems to be interchangeable and apply to any situation, "Smart is as smart does." I had made myself feel like I had to be someone else to impress someone when in actuality, I'm just me!!! :) So just remember that folks! It's ok to not know something :) Just make sure you have a constant desire to learn more and to let not only other people but God teach you! :)


"Only by recognizing the infancy of our knowledge will we ever be able to learn truths of the eternities."   - Benjamin Devey

A pear?

There are some things in life that are too priceless to ever let them fade from your memory. Like holding a newborn baby, feeling how fragile yet strong it really is. Realizing how much someone will fight for you. Or facing the exhilarating excitement and fear of being on your own. These things shape our character and make us into who we are today. I've been thinking a great deal on the past lately and I can't believe the difference that time makes in a person's life or the impact people can have on you. I look back on the last year, through all the ups and downs, and can't help but be grateful for everything I've been through. Even more than that, I'm grateful for the people in my life that have helped me see who I want to be and are helping me become that person. You'll never know the influence you have on people or the difference, for good or bad, you can make in their lives. I have tried to keep that in mind as much as possible going into my new college experience hoping that I can make a difference each and every day. So that I can help someone create a priceless memory that can change their life forever. I want to be someone that people want to remember. My drive in this desire? Fear. Fear of being easily overlooked and forgotten when I'm gone. Fear that I can't make an impact on those around me. Fear that I can't inspire others for good. And it is because of this fear that I have learned to connect with people so easily. I've always loved the quote, "Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care." Everyone should do their best to show people how much they mean to them. You never know what someone is going through and the struggles they face everyday. Let people know you care, tell them you love them as often as possible. Treat every moment with them as though it were their last. This world needs more love. We as human beings need more love. Now, you may be wondering why I decided to write about such a random (yet important) topic for the first post of my blog. My reasoning for it, is because of the impact someone has made on my life. For their encouragement and love. The understanding about my feelings that I'd never dared share with anyone. For their openness and complete genuineness. For their ability to have fun and teach people to let loose. For picking themselves up every time life has knocked them down. For teaching me how to fight, not only for myself but for others, no matter how bad it hurts. For being someone I don't have to put walls up to be around. And lastly, for being the only person to call me a lovely pear and make an everlasting impression. May we learn to accept all people, to help them, to listen to them and to love them. Because in the end, you could be what saves them.